Okay, so, how’s it goin’, it’s me again. I suppose this would be part four in my series of customer reviews for that crafty limey Steve Ricks, so, that being the case, I guess it would be best to imagine one of those jump-cut pre-credit recap sequences which encapsulates everything that has gone before, but in this case, more specifically, my frock coat oddessy. Or, you could just click on my last review if you can be bothered, but it’s a long story and I recommend that you don’t. And, in any case, that long story is over now.
I still had in mind one more coat, just one more, my final ever stab at the one frock coat I would own and wear for the rest of me natural puff. The brown version had been exquisite, without question. But the rich brown shell was a heavy tweed-like fabric (limiting it’s potential usage out here in the colonies), and the ball-seizing lining was so elaborate, that I felt I needed one that could possibly be slightly more conducive to day to day wear, especially here on Tattooine.
And lo, one day on Starship UK, that ingenious threadman Steve Ricks was sitting on his couch, probably saying, “Thank Christ I’m done with that Ian Cummins tool. Do you know, if I never hear from him again, it’ll be too ... (iPhone beeps) Oh, cock.”
Now, I have to say, this commission took a while, for a variety of reasons. For my part, it was mainly financial impoverishment, of which Steve was very understanding. For Steve’s part, it was mostly due to being the Robert DeNiro of Doctor Who costuming, and having commissions literally falling onto the kitchen floor while he did the dishes like in The Meaning Of Life. Probably. But in any case, I sent him my brief, which was, as always, about as specific as Van Halen’s rider. I wanted a certain weight fabric of a certain colour; I wanted lining of a certain colour; I wanted a certain type of button; I wanted four inner pockets; I wanted the two rear buttons to be brought a bee’s armpit closer together; I wanted measurements so precise that I even sent Steve another jacket to meticulously adhere to; I wanted about fifty other nanoscopic details as well; and I wanted a giant martini glass full of blue eminems. As a client, I may as well have listed my address as Hell (I would ask the reader to bear in mind that Steve specializes in recreating existing costumes as seen on Doctor Who, and probably doesn’t need custom commissions from people who require him to have telepathic capabilities so much). I left a couple of details (the inner arm lining, the pocket welts) up to that shrewd Old Blightyan Steve Ricks, fairly confident that I was in safe hands.
The felt under the collar is a hand-stitched vibrant red, to match the lining. Something of a surprise, but in keeping with it’s predecessor, who had that green chinese silk there. It’s not something anybody would ever see unless you walked around with your collar turned up like Rizzo from Grease (and I’d assume that if you felt inclined to do that, you probably wouldn’t be wearing a frock coat in the first place), but it’s a striking touch. This, combined with the bright red lining, give an otherwise formal and classic design something of a contemporary flavour. As a further cherry on the cake, the ribbon upon which you would hang the coat on a hook (as if you would ever do that!) is also in this colour, again hand-stitched, as though one final sympathetic kiss from the supermodel you can never have just before she walks away.
Buttons - well, I just asked for something dark blue and plain there, but, having said that, I still don’t think I’ve seen anything exactly like them round these parts. Twin button closure, with the lower sewn right into the middle seam of the coat, as requested, with two (rather than three) on each cuff, and, of course, two on the back vent.
I had asked for navy blue in my brief for the outer shell, and this certainly is that, but with the subtlest of lighter blue pinstripes, which are so subtle you can’t even see them under certain lighting conditions. The fabric is of the perfect weight and texture, and the fit is like a glove. Except it’s a coat.
Or maybe I’ll be wearing the Ten Coat Steve made for me.
It depends how I feel in the day.